Monday, June 23, 2008
Driving to Church yesterday, I came to a painful realization.
I'm at the end of the last of Alexander McCall Smith's No.1 Ladies Detective Agency audio book, the latest book in the series. The Head of the Agency* is talking with her Associate Detective about a third character who has behaved badly. Wisely, the Head concludes that the third character's behavior comes not so much from anger but from jealousy. There is anger, but it rises out of jealousy towards the Associate Director.
It came to me that as I move toward the 30th anniversary of my ordination I have wallowed around in jealousy towards colleagues whose work is more mobile than mine and who've accomplished glories I haven't.
I felt ill.
My blessings and opportunities are enough to entertain me into eternity.
I have blessings more than I can count.
I, therefore, heave aside jealousy and commit myself to returning to sanity.
Because being jealous means ingratitude and evaluating others by their exteriors.
And, Lord knows, I'm grateful for my life, as is.
St. Casserole, chastened again
*I listen to the series on CDs so I do not know how to spell the Botswana names! Beautifully read by a British actress who lived in Botswana, I recommend listening to catch the African inflections.