Thursday, June 05, 2008

Interview: Verbena the Toad



St.C.: Verbena, you are a very attractive toad.
V: Thanks, my pals call me VAT, for short.
St.C.: Tell me about yourself.
V: I'm a toad. I live in a pot of purple Verbena in your courtyard. You named me "Verbena". That's fine with me. I like to sit in the Verbena, under the leaves or hop around to the Lemon Grass planter. I'm a young toad. I like my privacy which is why I wish you wouldn't introduce me to all your giant pals.
St.C.: Sorry about the intrusion but you are interesting to me. Are you a male or female toad?
V: Gender is a social construct. The only reason I'd say what gender I was assigned to is if a toad of the opposite gender asked. In other words, not to be rude, but mind your own beeswax.
St.C.: Fine. Sorry again for intruding. Can I do anything to make your more comfortable other than showing you off to my "giant" pals?
V: Yep, tell your cat to ignore me. You know that grey cat who stays outside? I don't want to be a cat toy.
St.C.: I'll try but not much I can do with Andy.
V: OK., now, I have a question for you. Would you ask your teh internets people to remember not to use chemicals outside and to protect wetlands and stop using fertilizers made of chemicals? We outdoor creatures do the best we can to celebrate God's beautiful World but the junk in water, air and dirt is disturbing.
St.C.: I think you told people very well.
V: Get away from me! You look like you are going to kiss me! That kissing stuff is a myth and was developed because people thought we toads were gross! As if!!
St.C.: Sorry, I just wanted to look at you again.
V: Ok, time for Matins, beat it if you don't mind.

6 comments:

Songbird said...

I am charmed to meet Verbena!

Cathy said...

If Verbena was a guy toad, he would be Verbenum, or is it Verbenus?

How's the mouth?

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

FYI i just read an article on how the world's amphibian population is being threatened by a chytrid fungus... ick. But it's knocking out 1/3 of the frog/toad population... good thing V. here has a safe home!

Presbyterian Gal said...

I heart Verbena. But I ain't gonna kiss him/her.

God_Guurrlll said...

St. C,

You are much kinder to your toad visitors than I am. I had a toad in my pansy flats on my 2nd floor balcony and I freaked. I brought the toad to a new home under the rhodedendrum bush because I didn't want it to live on my balcony. Toad didn't take too kindly to my eviction. I could put the conversation on my blog however the language used by both toad and myself would be unbecoming of a ministers blog.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

What a fine place for him to live!!