Thursday, June 05, 2008
Interview: Verbena the Toad
St.C.: Verbena, you are a very attractive toad.
V: Thanks, my pals call me VAT, for short.
St.C.: Tell me about yourself.
V: I'm a toad. I live in a pot of purple Verbena in your courtyard. You named me "Verbena". That's fine with me. I like to sit in the Verbena, under the leaves or hop around to the Lemon Grass planter. I'm a young toad. I like my privacy which is why I wish you wouldn't introduce me to all your giant pals.
St.C.: Sorry about the intrusion but you are interesting to me. Are you a male or female toad?
V: Gender is a social construct. The only reason I'd say what gender I was assigned to is if a toad of the opposite gender asked. In other words, not to be rude, but mind your own beeswax.
St.C.: Fine. Sorry again for intruding. Can I do anything to make your more comfortable other than showing you off to my "giant" pals?
V: Yep, tell your cat to ignore me. You know that grey cat who stays outside? I don't want to be a cat toy.
St.C.: I'll try but not much I can do with Andy.
V: OK., now, I have a question for you. Would you ask your teh internets people to remember not to use chemicals outside and to protect wetlands and stop using fertilizers made of chemicals? We outdoor creatures do the best we can to celebrate God's beautiful World but the junk in water, air and dirt is disturbing.
St.C.: I think you told people very well.
V: Get away from me! You look like you are going to kiss me! That kissing stuff is a myth and was developed because people thought we toads were gross! As if!!
St.C.: Sorry, I just wanted to look at you again.
V: Ok, time for Matins, beat it if you don't mind.