Friday, February 22, 2008

Ask the Captain

Dear Captain,
What should I know about going on a cruise?

Dear Confused,

The most difficult part of a cruise is getting on the ship and off the ship. You wait in line for a good while to have your identification papers approved and enter the ship. Once there, you go to your cabin. The staff brings your luggage to your cabin. There is an emergency drill time where you put on a smelly life jacket (from your cabin), go to your assigned area, learn how to wear the jacket and what to do if the ship has a problem. This drill frightens some but just live through it. After it is over, you take your jacket back to your cabin and resume having fun.

Getting off the ship takes time, too. You are told what time to have your luggage packed and outside of your cabin on the departure date. You sit around doing nothing until your number is called, then you stand in line declaring purchases and sins for customs to re-enter the States.

Your travel agent will have luggage tags for you to place on your luggage for admittance to the ship.

Here's an important tip: your cruise costs are paid before you board the ship. Except!!!! Any alcoholic drinks, sodas*, gee-haws from the onboard shops and tips for staff are not included. Your cruise card (given when you go through processing) is used to pay for alcoholic drinks, salon visits, gift shop purchases). You don't carry money or credit cards.

Drink purchases include a tip for the server.

Coffee, tea (iced and hot) and powdered fruit drink stuff is available for no charge. You PAY FOR DIET COKES.

Some cruises include the staff tips in the cruise price. Other cruises expect you to pay a per diem tip for your cabin steward, wait staff and, for some reason, the Dining Hall King. If you don't have cash, you can charge these tips.

The Captain, no picture this time, you girls got too delighted with the last post + picture!

*soda is yankee for "soft drinks"


cheesehead said...

Thanks for the refresher, Cappy!

My last cruise was 17 years ago.

Gracebythesea said...

THANK YOU JULIE MC COY!!!Will Isaac be on board to make me umbrella drinx?? Will Doc have the perfect hangover cures? Oh that's right I learned those in seminary...Wait to you see my "creme de minth" prom dress-if only it still fit!

RevHRod said...

Dear Captain- someone told me you can pre-buy a card for your Diet Cokes. Then they become unlimited. Is this true? I may become surly if I have to pay a lot for Diet Coke. Or I may become silly if I have to switch to martinis because Diet Coke is too expensive. ;-)

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

uhhuh yeah the life vest, the drill... no thanks. you gals will have a splendid, splendid time and i'd be there if the event weren't on water. one time in the water is plenty for me.

okay my word verification was 'lazymama'... hmmm?

1-4 Grace said...

And for the really Southern Southerners,...
soda and soft drinks are what we call COKE.
Hopefully, yu can sneak some coke on board.
You know when they come up with one of those teeny little envelopes that you mix with water (like Crystal Lite has now) but once mixed it become a fizzy coke, then we will be in heaven.

St. Casserole said...


You can, on some cruises, buy a card for unlimited cokes. However, the cokes are ALL bar fountain drinks!!! No cans! Taste will depend on how the bar mix is working!

You could, bring a 6 pack of cans in your carry-on luggage quietly.

The Simpleton said...

Thanks, 1-4 Grace, you beat me to it.

But teeny envelopes of coke? That would take you a long time to get through customs.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

They make you pay for diet coke?? How un-American!

Songbird said...

I think I'll need one of those Diet Coke cards. Just sayin'.

RevHRod said...

Definitely need more than just a six pack of Diet Coke... Sad isn't it? And for those of us who were raised in the Midwest... it's pop. A soda involves ice cream. And I have never understood how a coke could be anything other than a CocaCola. Hmmm....

Sue said...

RevHRod beat me to it - up in my neck of the woods, it's called pop.

I love the pic of the Captain. *so adorable*