Dear Aunt Bostick,
I'm going to the RGBP BE next month. Any advice? Missing you, St.Casserole
Dear St. Casserole,
It's wonderful to hear from you. Just yesterday, I was telling Beulah Lynch the story about how you wore your vestments inside out and we laughed our heads off. Really, dear, your escapades keep us in stitches. I must remember to tell her about the time you fell out of your shoes while preaching! Keep her in your prayers; she's got competition this year for the Presidency of the Baptist Drum and Hymn Sing Association. I'm concerned her hives will act up because the stress .
I've got several things to pass on about the BE. First, get the idea of the "Love Boat" out of your head. No one dresses up for cruises anymore unless they are crossing the Atlantic. You can wear sleep pants, bedroom slippers and that ratty T-shirt and no one will care. I'm not sure people will notice. On the big dining nights, if your BE has one, be prepared to see people wearing everything from old bridesmaid dresses to bathing suit cover-ups in the dining room.
In my day, we dressed to ride airplanes. Now people look like they are on their way to the kitchen when they fly. Don't worry about your clothing. Cheesehead will be dressed better than you anyway.
Several of the RGBP gals will be exhausted from travel before they get on the ship. Help them get some rest so they can enjoy the speaker and meetings. I want all of you gals to relax, let down your hair and just be happy.
I know you talked Cheesehead into letting you room with her. Do I need to remind you to leave her things alone? Her make-up is her make-up, not yours. Try not to talk as much as you have the past few visits with her. She may want to have a thought or two without you yapping at her. Let her visit with her other friends, this isn't junior high school where you tried to pal around every second with Diane Gunn and drove her crazy. Let Cheesehead be Cheesehead without you hovering around like a crazed fly.
I hear that the speaker is going to be fabulous. Take notes so you can tell me what she says. Be sure to thank her for coming to the RGBPs because not everyone wants to be with a jiving group of clergywomen. Very few, in fact.
I hope everyone has a great time. I do not want to read about any of you in the newspaper. Try to let the other passengers get enough sleep.