Sunday, March 19, 2006

Guest Blogger: Fish the Kitten

Now that I'm more than 6 months old, I can tell you things. I know things because I'm old now.

1. If your brother, Whistle, is eating, put your paw into the dish and pull it away from him. You get the bowl. He doesn't do it back to you.

2. If your Mom calls, "Kitty, kitty, kitty, CAT COOKIES!" wait to see if Whistle runs to get a cookie first. Then, you can run. That way, you don't have a false alarm "Cat Cookie" waste of your time.

3. Hide if you see P.P. Puppy. Only Whistle plays with the P.

4. Jump up on as much stuff as you can. Try to climb the bookcases. Jump on top of your Mom's dresser and knock stuff off. Hide when she comes to see what made the noise.

5. Go sit on the Man's lap. He likes it. Purr and look at him. You can see up his nose. Weird, but entertaining.

6. Run to use the litter box if you hear Her cleaning it out.

7. Get on the bathroom counter and dig out all the Q-tips. Roll them off the counter and make a pattern on the floor. Pretty!

8. If She is reading, go sit on her book.

9. Follow Andy around and sniff him endlessly. He smells like OUTSIDE!
Continue sniffing him until he hisses and raises his paw.

10. Sleep on your Mom's legs. I don't know why but this is good.

11. If Whistle has anything, take it away from him.

12. Want some of what your Mom is drinking? No problem! Put your head into the glass and she won't touch it again! Works very time!

Your friend,
Fish the Kitten

P.S. I have to go read the Bible. Mom says I need to review the story of Cain and Abel.


Songbird said...

I love the postscript.
Nicky the Old Man Cat just sat down on my glasses.

Emily said...

re #12--I like playing that game with the female, too.


Sue said...

Dear Fish,
This is all fine advice. We would add one more rule for cats, however. Never, ever, let your humans sleep in. This would set a bad precedent and cause your breakfast to be served late. Howling and jumping up and down on their bladders is the best approach.

Truffle and Ouzo

Texas Jaye said...

Dear Fish:
This is Callie Kitty the Calico. I am so pretty.

Another thing you can do is go on a walk with your humans and the dogs. It is great fun to see the neighbor humans stop and stare at Momma.

They wonder out loud, "how do you get those kitties to follow you?"

Ha, we follow her because we love her. She loves us and those dogs even if they are just dogs.

Ha, ha. It would be funny if you can go outside. If not, just follow her all over the house and make her trip over you, but don't let her fall on you or step on your paws or tail.

Gotta go, more trouble to make!

Callie, pretty kitty.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Oh sound like a handful! How did you get the name *Fish*?

seawitch said...

Dear Fish,

My cat Frisky asked me to give one other piece of advice. If you are hungry and your Mom hasn't filled the kibble bowl fast enough, sit on the parakeet's cage until she does. You don't have to try to catch the parakeet. Just sitting on the cage is enough.

Mary Beth said...

Dear Fish,

Hey, Boodie here. Come over to Terrapin Station and see what us little dogs are doing...I bet we and you cats could have a lot of fun together and make a heckuva mess!

Yrs. sincerely,

Boudreaux Thibodeaux Robichaux Butler Pritchett

Leslee said...

Fish, you are wise beyond your years!