Saturday, April 08, 2006

Clergywomen's Store

While I'm dreaming of things that aren't but could be, let's tour my imaginary store for clergywomen. All items available at the retail store and online.

Clothing:

very comfortable, breathable natural fabric clerical shirts in a variety of colors, plaids, polka-dots and vertical stripes;

clerical collars that are comfortable at all times,

vintage and new gorgeous collar buttons.

Pants (I don't like the word "slacks") and skirts cut fashionably, comfortably and slimming;

great shoes that look like beautiful shoes, nothing matronly, all comfortable:

a magical purse that carries everything but never weighs much and looks great;

Dignified, but fun and comfortable maternity wear.

Accessories:

Make-up area for those who wish to wear it

Jewelry area of gorgeous religious jewelry but nothing with big bling

Clergywoman car emergency car kit: hospital visiting gear, small communion set, boots for walking in fields or barns, new pair of pantyhose, personal care products..., extra $30 for hand-outs and breath mints.

Vestments:

Beautiful vestments made for a woman's body. All comfortable. Reasonably priced. Great fabrics and colors.

A vestment exchange so the vestments you tire of, out-grown clerical shirts (hey! it does happen!) and the like may be exchanged because what does a thrift store do with a clergywoman's blouse?

Bookshop:

Clergywoman's Guide to Ministry (What Isn't Taught at Seminary but Should be)

How-To: Practical Ministry Skills

Explaining Your Call to Ministry

Great Stories of Women Who Survived Churches As Horrible As Yours!

Humor for Clergywomen (3 vol. set)

Being Yourself in Ministry

There is a children's area in the store, coffee and tea bar and lovely chairs to sit and visit. Sweet women walk around the store saying: "Oh dear, you are trying to be all things to all people. That's not your calling." and "When is your day off? What do you have planned that will feed your soul?" and "I think you are wonderful. I'm proud of you!"

What do I need to add before I take my business plan to the bank?

St. Casserole

24 comments:

DaveW said...

"What do I need to add before I take my business plan to the bank?"

A lot more women in ministry.

will smama said...

Yeah! Do you take Discover?

Songbird said...

I'm just afraid once I got there I would never leave...

cheesehead said...

How timely! I just bought my first "shirt that doubles as a symbol of the patriarchy" today. My choices? Ugly and uglier.

I settled on ugly.

Connie said...

I'm lovin' this whole thread about wishes--wishes for churches, wishes for clothes, and wishes for women in ministry. Dreams are the first stage to change the way things are ("when played upon the blue guitar")

peripateticpolarbear said...

St. Cassie's house of soul!

Elizabeth said...

When you open, let me know, and I'll come shop, shop, shop :)

Kathryn said...

Just booking my plane ticket right now! It sounds fabulous :-) xx

jledmiston said...

Put me down for a polka dot clergy shirt.

Songbird said...

If they came in such fun patterns, I might be tempted to wear one myself!

Caroline said...

I need shoes that are a healthy balance of style and grace, comfort, and will cause me no problems for being too sexy, tall, or flashy.

mibi52 said...

...plus a spa for manicures, pedicures, and massages. And the nail polish colors will somehow not offend a certain senior member of our parish who things clergywomen shouldn't have painted nails, at least not painted RED.

Susie said...

And definitely include the nice maternity clothes in the exchange section!

Anonymous said...

Add to the bookstore a spouses' list of favorites:

I would help with Summer Sunday School but I am hiking the Appalachian Trail, by Mr. Songbird

Life with a Woman Minister: Its not the preaching, its the Commandments I get, by Mr. C

I don't do Sewing Circles. Anonymous

Mr. C

Songbird said...

Heehee, Mr. C!

Connie said...

Don't forget: The clergy shirts and other apparel need to be available in plus and petite sizes!
Maybe a custom-made option? I'd spring for it!

Sue said...

Connie already said mine -- Petite sizes are a must!

I know you mentioned make up...does anyone remember a conversation on Songbird's blog a long time ago about the perfect shade of clergy lipstick? I can't remember it, but I simply must have it. Mine is looking less than fabulous and that just won't do.

Songbird said...

I'm not a terribly experienced lipstick wearer, but I would think it needs to enhance the natural lip color and not be too far in any other direction on the color spectrum. Which is to say, neither red nor coral for me. I'm still searching for the perfect rose shade. The one I like best at the moment is probably a teeny bit too light, but I like it anyway.

the reverend mommy said...

Wait!
I just re-read this --
maternity wear?
Are you trying to tell us something?

=o)

Ann said...

There is one store that has some of your wishes:
http://www.womenspirit.com/

mark said...

is it ok if men come and visit your store? sounds like a fun place, and there were quite a few things listed that I wouldn't mind having!!!
new blog address: http://stumbling.typepad.com/blog/

Lorna said...

erm,

wondering if thsi " Clergywoman's Guide to Ministry (What Isn't Taught at Seminary but Should be)" should be RevGals and pals next book

I get the feeling a) it coudl be a best seller and b) might end up as a great SOAP (grin)

be blessed

Marie said...

As if it wasn't (weren't?) worrisome enough to try to figure out what I'm to be called (Mother Marie? I think not!) now I have to think about clericals? Great God! Can't a girl just wear jeans, a good pair of boots and a button-down?

Jenny said...

The business plan sounds delightful and has made me smile...but while you're waiting for this business to take off you might check out my stoles at www.carrottopstudio.com or by using the seller name carrottopstudio for great designs being auctioned weekly on eBay!