If you, Ms.Layperson (or Mr. or Dr., etc.) redesigned the sanctuary of your church, what would you add?
Here's what I think:
1. Have DVD players in each pew on the hymn book rack.
2. Put foot warmers w/massage on the kneeler.
3. Have a cup holder for coffee, water bottle or soda can.
4. Have a micro-chip sound of applause when your quarter hits the offering plate.
5. Have signal buttons in front of each worshipper to let the preacher know to slow down, speed up or just quit.
6. Put Sharper Image type massagers in each seat. Hard to listen when your back is sore...
7. Have a beautiful person in Armani give the announcements.
8. Have the Sunday newspaper in each pew.
9. Give each worshipper a Big Gold Star as they leave so they can let other less righteous people know that They Went to Church.
10. If the kid sitting behind you kicks the pew where you are sitting, push a button and eject him out of the sanctuary.
What can be added to this list?
"Ready for Passion Sunday. Ready for Palm Sunday. Ready for Holy Week".