The Pastor's retreat to Florida was lovely. Seeing undamaged buildings, no debris piles and gorgeous landscaping helps placate my eyes. For three days, until yesterday afternoon when we returned home, I didn't see evidence of the Storm.
Coming home to abandoned water heaters leaned up against gutted homes, debris piles of limbs, stumps and demolished sheet rock felt dreadful. The retreat area looked like a disney fantasy area. Home to the storm area is ugly.
Several of my readers comment that I don't blog much these days. Lent/Easter kept me busy with other things but ministry isn't the entire reason I've been silent. Trying to spare you the incessant reflections on the storm kept me from writing here. The writer's maxim of "write what you know" must be true at this time in my life because I can't write about much else than storm stuff.
I'm fighting depression, weariness and trying to be cheerful for others when I feel like running away. This is as close to the truth as I can get.
Those of you who know me realize that I am not whining. I DO see the positives around me and am able to enjoy the improvements, restorations, blessings and bouts of happiness in this beat-up geographic area.
For whatever reasons, my life is here in the storm-tossed Gulf Coast. Must be something for me to learn here and I'll do my best to learn the lessons of life.
I'm not mad at God for this time in my life. Rather, I feel a tickly at the edges of intuition that I am both held in God's presence, as well as, living what most of us will never know. I am starving and filled at the same time.
Thank you for being with me,