Friday, March 04, 2005

Jaye over at Winding Road in an Urban Area (http://windingroad.typepad.com/columns/) has an entry about her rules. She asks for our rules. Here are mine:

I’m a Christian and I believe it is difficult to follow Jesus. I’m not easy with unconditional acceptance, mysterious grace and hope for the future but I believe in Jesus.

I believe all politics are local and relate to territory. Everything is political if you think about it.

I believe that the insurance industry is the bad guy in the tort reform thing and that if lawyers had a better lobbying group the public might understand the truth about insurance.

Preaching is an odd form of communication. Writing a sermon is difficult work every week.

I believe that most clergy are so serious that I must buck the trend and tell you my REAL rules which are as follows:

I believe that open toed high heel shoes are unattractive unless the shoes are really Manalo Blahniks which I do not own.

I believe that white shoes are unattractive unless you are wearing them as part of a required uniform.
I believe that no white shoes, except as a uniform, or white purses or belts should be worn before Easter or after Memorial Day.

I believe that solid colors are better than patterns and that sweaters with appliques of ducks, school buses and animals make you look old.

I believe in good skin care, quality foundation make-up and good mascara. I believe that Lancome has the best mascara. I have researched this.

I believe in having friends over to dinner and serving something good but not complex. I believe that the friends care more about the fellowship than they do about the cleanliness of our home.

I believe that sterling flatware, good china and your Waterford crystal should be used daily or at least weekly. I believe in cloth napkins for environmental and graciousness reasons.

I believe that if people can misunderstand you, they will but that most people are more accepting and generous than we expect them to be.

I believe that Swiffer dusters, Mr. Clean white spongey things and Cetaphil facial cleanser are three products that really do what they were created to do.

I believe that you should not have too much decorative stuff on the front of your home or in your front yard no matter what Curb Appeal suggests. More power to you if you have a cement rabbit statue by your kitchen door.

I believe that material possessions are much more valuable and entertaining if purchased on from an estate or garage or rummage sale.

New shoes scuff if purchased at full retail. Shoes on sale neither scuff nor stain for the first year of wearing.
Wearing jewelry is good. Having purses you like is good. Shoes are wonderful and uplift one’s spirits if you have the money. Perhaps a shoe fund should be started.

A good hair cut and "conditioning" (note: we do not color our hair, we ‘condition’ it.) is a good use of one’s funds.

A Kitchen Aide mixer is a great investment, does what is supposed to do, and lasts endlessly.

I believe that a good woman friend is a great blessing and that many women friends are an even greater joy.

Never play poker with a man named "Doc."

Don’t buy anything you can’t afford. Pay cash whenever you can.

A loving marriage is one of the great benefits of adulthood.

12 comments:

PPB said...

Oh my goodness!!! I almost wrote a post about those Mr. Clean white spongey things!!!!!!!!!!!!! How psycho is it that we both believe strongly in the same product????
The post was also going to give mention to hair wax. I've just discovered it and think it's the best thing in the world. My hair now does that little flippy uppy thing that normal women can do with a blow dryer.
Go Mr. Clean!

St. Casserole said...

Hair wax? What brand? What does it do? Share the info!

Mary said...

OMGoodness, has the cut-off date for white-wearing moved up that much now?
Memorial Day?
I thought the 'rule' was Labor Day?!

Maybe it's just a California thing. Actually, if it's not, I'm making it a California thing. Not so much for the shoes but I love a good white or light-cream twin set for summer evening wear. Come now, surely that's ok?

ppb, I laughed at your "normal women" comment. Ohh, I wish I had normal woman hair, too.

Seriously now, give us the waxy scoop on this stuff. I recently had several inches cut off my hair and I could use a little flip once in a while.

- M.

PS- I'm inspired to write my own rules, St.C. This was great.

Anonymous said...

I believe there should be an 11th commandment: "Be kind".

I believe we should all fess up and admit that God is fallible, which explains why the fertility gene and the responsibility gene aren't attached to one another.

I believe Southern cooking(fried catfish, fried chicken, fried pickles, ... anything blackened) is the crack cocaine of the old confederacy.

I believe that,generally, when we were younger, you met someone and assumed they were nice until proven differently; however, now, I believe when we meet someone we assume they are not nice until proven differently.

I believe that manners are the grease of life.

I believe that anytime anyone waives the flag or their cross (literally or figuratively) to help win an argument, you should grab your privates and your wallet and quickly back out the door.

I believe that we should be serious about who we are and not serious about what we are.

I believe that it is time for more coffee.

Expeditus.

St. Casserole said...

It's Labor Day! Not Memorial Day!
And, sandals are ok just not opened toed dress shoes worn with panty hosed toes sticking out the front.
Everyone needs to know about the Mr. Clean white spongey things.

Mary said...

Whew!

And Expeditus, your rules, as the cool kids say these days, ROCK!

~m2~ said...

love these lists, but beg to differ that God is fallible. He is perfect; we may not actually agree with how some of His rules collide, but He's the Boss.

i also believe the time to live is now. we oftentimes look too deeply into our past for the Big Answers, however, once we acknowledge our past, in lieu of clinging too tightly to it, we acknowledge it for what it was (the past) and let it go so we can keep our eyes focused on the goal.

i know, *blogger, heal thyself.*

~*peace*~

St. Casserole said...

I said God is fallible? Where? I sure did intend to say such a thing. Urgh!

~m2~ said...

oh, no saintly casserole - *anonymous* did.

i am sorry, i didn't mean to upset you...

PPB said...

hair wax....
you buy it with the mousse and junk. it comes in a little pot, and if you want to look like a rock star, you can make your hair all spikey with it. But if you just want that front of the head "poof" all you do is put a little bit at the roots of the hair that you desire to poof up, and voila! it happens. You can also use it to force stubborn cowlicks into submission.

Aola said...

hair wax?? isn't that the same stuff my older brothers used to get the Elvis look in the 60's?

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

~applaudes~ Here here!! I totally agree.

I also believe that God himself made the Mr. Clean sponges....try using them to clean out your bath tub...thou shalt be amazed.