Sunday, August 20, 2006

Grace to you and peace.

Sunday morning before sunrise here in the Pine Grove. Only the pets and I are awake. Kitty kibbles served, water lapped up and sounds of purring begin the morning. I'm drinking coffee while staring out the french doors of my study. I'd like to be thinking deep thoughts about the worship service later in the morning but instead I'm counting my blessings.

My recent post upset some and made the rest of you worry about me. What I meant to tell you is that my pastoral "wall" is damaged. I've had this happen before but never had my sensitivities to other's sorrows last as long as this time. God will help me heal and renew the "wall"

Pouring ourselves out without boundaries sounds good and loving but isn't as far as I can tell.
People come to me for help for themselves, not to hear my stuff or watch me get overwhelmed.

Quiet time alone in prayer and reflection helps. I've spent time with LH talking. I cleaned out the pantry. I read several Psalms over and over again. I talked with LLS. All these things help and because I told you, I'll pay more attention to my healing.

Grace is what God does for us that we cannot do for ourselves. Peace is hearing God in the stillness despite the situation around us. (I know grace and peace are larger concepts than one sentence! I'm saving my world-shattering insights for the book...)

Light is breaking slowly outside. I'm waking up. The kittens ran back to our bedroom to stare at LH. P.P. Puppy snorted. I'm thinking about worship and the ordination I'll attend this afternoon. I pray for the young ordinand and recall my ordination years ago.

Grace and Peace to you,

St. Casserole


Songbird said...

I guess you know I think about you lots and continue to pray for you, dear friend. It almost feels redundant to say so here, but this morning I want to! God bless Whistle and Fish and P.P.Puppy and their purrs and snorts, and God bless you.

peripateticpolarbear said...

Is his name really pppuppy or is that a pseudonym? I'm glad that the morning was a little restorative.

cheesehead said...

Love you...

Quotidian Grace said...

Have a lovely Sabbath, Cassie.

Patti said...

A wise woman once told me how she prioritizes: God first. Self-care second. Husband third. Family fourth. Professional duties fifth. Do you see where self-care is on her list? Are you getting enough massages, manicures, pedicures? Are you eating right? Taking vitamins? Exercising? Having enough tea and cake with friends? Just a thought.

Take care of yourself, Sweetie. I will pray for you.

Purechristianithink said...

Anniversaries are tough for those grieving and recovering from trauma. The only way is through, I guess, and we'll be holding you and yours in our prayers.

Caroline said...

I think that this is my first comment on you blog, St Casserole.

I visit every now and again to see how you are coping following Katrina, I suppose that it's a way of praying,

Friends of mine lost a child several years ago. I asked them how they coped with the aniversaries. Their answer suprised me, the aniversaries themselves usually went off ok, it was the times around them that were hell ... they prepared themselves for the actual date but in the weeks around it, they suffered more and only realised this much later.

There are times when you don't have to succeed or be good, all you have to do is plod on - the divine plod, I call it.

Chaplain Lydia said...

Hey dear one,
You are not alone. I'm praying for your peace (and it sounds like a morning's reflections with the four-legged members of your family helped). I have a question to ask you--I hope it is not too much to ask. Many of the inmates I work with, at both the men and women's facilities, are asking me to see about taping HBO's take on the anniversary of the hurricane--it's suppose to be two nights, August 28 and 29. These inmates are from those areas that were affected by not only Hurricane Katrina, but Rita as well. I want to provide good pastoral care to my flock. I remember for days calling the Red Cross with endless names of family members of my inmates. There were so many tears shared when I had family members finally call my office at the prison just to tell their loved one incarcerated that they were okay. Remembering you and all during this anniversary.
Prayers and blessings to you! Lydia

hipastorzwife2B said...

Oh, I am thinking about you and yours.
Take care.