Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Worries on My Mind

I've got worries on my mind. I'm not asking for solace here. Really. I'm meditating on what worries I have on my plate and if it makes sense to worry. Beyond deciphering worries into manageable piles, I'm considering that my worries make complete sense.

Life is like this. We have worries which are silly and worries which make sense. I'm not even to the point of anticipating how to handle the worries if they all blow up into worse worries. I'm simply stewing in worry juice.

I suppose I'm not very good at worrying anymore. After going through fire-heaps of misery, most stuff sloughs off. I can shake worry not because I don't care or feel nothing but because I hold on to God, like Jacob, until I'm blessed or until the worry is appeased. Either one works for me.

My stomach is in knots and this doesn't feel very good. I'm so fortunate that I can feel the knots unlike someone with endless, constant worries who doesn't remember what before knots feels like. And, I have people I can talk with about my troubles. Thank you, God, for this!

We visited with friends tonight from our old neighborhood. We visited about who moved where, who was still on the old street and so on. After the visit, I realized that my stomach was relaxed and I'd forgotten my troubles. The comfort came from taking my eyes off my own full plate and recalling the lives of others. The warmth of the friends, including charming bouts of rapidly crossing themselves (making the sign of the cross) when death was mentioned, helped. We were one of the few protty couples on an RC street. Maybe my love of RC devotional piety items began there.

I calmed down. The children greeted us on our return home with all their scampering questions about school tomorrow, more laundry to wash, phone calls to return and so I'm sitting here tensing up again.

It helps when you pray for me. I remember you in my prayers, too. Sometimes in general and often specifically I tell God about you and ask for God's presence in your lives.

I'm not being coy or mysterious with this post. It's my own business and the details don't matter outside of my small circle. We are all fine and moving along with our work and lives so don't do any dramatic thinking about what is worrying me. I'm just telling you the process and asking for a prayer.

St. C

17 comments:

Purechristianithink said...

Sorry for the knots ... consider yourself prayed over.

Friday Mom said...

Sorry there are things that worrying you. You're in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

For me, when worries have the thickness of a coming storm, I do that Kathleen Norris thing--the Protestant version of Buddhist mindfulness--- and try to do the work I am doing the best I can. I find comfort in the attempted excellence of the moment, which leaves no room in my thinking for worry (past or future). I may not be able to cure the fear that engenders the worry, but I can at least do these small things well. It is oddly comforting.

Expeditus.

nightwoodkitty said...

Can you get a massage, St. Cass, or do something physical [I know it is hot!] That and what is charmingly called the Kathleen Norris thing work for me.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I will gladly hold your hands up right now. You are in my prayers by name. Please let us know if we can do anything more.

Mary Beth said...

Bless you and prayers for you. Thanks for sharing.

reverendmother said...

Prayers for Cass.

The best thing I read last time I was pregnant said, "Worry is the work of pregnancy." That is, you work through all the what-ifs, then you let them go. Worrying can be productive if done the right way, which is one of the things I heard you say in this post, I think.

mibi52 said...

Prayers going up for you.

Sometimes worries come when I'm looking forward too hard. Afterwards, when I look back, I discover my worries were out of proportion to reality. Only rarely do I under-worry. May it be so for you.

Hugs for you, as well.

cheesehead said...

Praying for productive worries for you...

Sue said...

Prayers for you....

Quotidian Grace said...

I'm so sorry--worry is so enervating. You're in my prayers as well.

Songbird said...

Far from home and therefore closer to you, but still far away from you--nevertheless close in prayer.

Aola said...

I really hate that feeling, worrying, especially since it doesn't do a bit of good, just makes your tummy hurt.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Hello there. It's Friday. I was just stopping by to see if things are better. Need anything?

PPB said...

(o)

St. Casserole said...

Mindy, thanks for checking on me. I took Expeditus' advice of doing the work before me carefully. I took Nightwoodkitty's suggestion that I exercise more. I hope the massage can be scheduled for next week.
I'm carefully worn out so I feel better. Many thanks for prayers.

candlemb said...

Late to the party but praying.