Wednesday, December 01, 2004

The Etiquette of Junking

1. Be prepared to walk away from anything. If the price isn't right and your seller won't haggle walk away.
2. Be gracious to the seller even if you are internally hooting at the prices and the seller's attitude. We went to a pitiful estate sale of a local artist several months ago. The gals who were running the sale thought they are experts. They couldn't identify sterling silver if they saw the silver stamp. Each item of the estate was priced as though it was in a Sotheby's auction. Further, they had pictures from the Blue Dog artist framed as prints. Value: O. I thought this was dishonest as they were selling the pictures for $75. I discussed a necklace with them only to be told it was sterling even though it didn't have a mark. Oh, puleeze. Further, they were snotty and crabby and gave the impression that we buyers should feel honored to be at their sale. This isn't good, folks. Estate sales often raise money for the family. Push the goods out the door with reasonable prices so the family can get money.
3. Do not enter a sale then begin shouting, "MINE, MINE!" No one likes this. Don't do it.
4. Be nice to other buyers. Try not to get the police involved. I'm not explaining this one.
5. Just because it is old and stinky does not mean it has value.
6. Just because it is new and shiny does not mean it has value.
7. The Antique Boys in XXXX have the best sales. Do not miss these.
8. Wear comfortable clothing. Do not carry a big purse. Put your money in your jeans pocket.
9. When standing in line for a sale, be polite and do not shout obscenities. No one likes this.
10. Carry a loupe, magnifying glass or wear one of those old lady magnifying glass necklaces. Carry a flashlight or wear a book light on your head. Do not wear make up. Use your hands to organize your hair, no brushes or combs. Do not wear bedroom slippers.
11. If an buyer drops the heaviest thing in the sale on your foot while you are minding your own business, do not curse.
12. Remember, you have to store what you buy. Consider this before you buy items even if it is a good deal. Train your friends to receive your "bad buys" by dropping stuff off at their homes at night.
13. If Suz says "Sister!" in a loud voice, run to her. She has found the jewelry.
What did I leave off the list?


Nightwoodkitty said...

Add: "If you find something really good, send it to your sister."

St. Casserole said...

Of course, if you find something really really good, like maybe a troll, send it to your sister!