Monday, August 27, 2007

Dear Aunt Bostick


Dear Aunt Bostick,

I've gotten stuck in my bloggage. Too much stuff is going on right now for me to have much to say in my blog. I'm not depressed. I'm overwhelmed.
What should I do?
Your Niece,

St. Casserole

My Dear Casserole,
How kind of you to write me with your troubles. You young things don't often ask those of us who've lived through World Wars, Skirmishes and the Bush Years our opinions. Your generation appears to be busy using credit unwisely, allowing your children to make family decisions and wearing your clothing too tight. I thank you my dear for asking my advice.
First, what kind of blogger are you? Do you have a theme other than whining? If you have a theme you may find topics everyday. Or, are you a blogger who blogs only when she has something to say? I doubt this as I have read a number of your posts and they appear to be of no consequence to anyone. Forgive me if this sounds harsh.
Second, how much of your life do you wish to share with the unwashed masses, I mean, your readers. Who are these people anyway? When was the last time you asked lurkers and others to comment? It might help if you knew your audience. If you find out who reads you you may wish to tailor your remarks to their varied sensibilities.
Third, as Ernest told me one day long ago as we lounged on the beach in Key West, write what you know. Avoid pontificating on those subjects which elude your experience and brain power.
Fourth, keep it short. Your posts are too long. And, dear one, what's all this stuff about cats? Not everyone loves cats as you do. Thank goodness you started a blog for Whistle. That cat chats about his birthday every day of the year!
Fifth, remember these rules of life: eat more bran, organize your eyebrows, stand up straight, vote for the Democrats no matter how much or little you have in your Bank, tend to your family, don't run to Walgreen's looking like the Wrath of God and use sterling flatware at every meal. Honor these rules and your days will be long and happy.

Lovingly,

Aunt Bostick

9 comments:

Cathy said...

Dear Aunt Bostick,

Do you have a blog?

ElastiGirl said...

Hey - does Aunt Bostick do consulting for other blogs?!

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

well you can take me off the list of those with 'eyebrow' issues... and i do use the sterling at all times... eating bran? i'm evidently not as old as Aunt B.

Elaine said...

I agree. Enough with the cats -- What's Sister up to?

Songbird said...

Thank you for the words of wisdom!

Cathy said...

I bet Aunt Bostick would say "bran is good for what ails ya".

Nuff said.

Sue said...

Aunt Bostick is very wise. Very wise indeed. My only disagreement would be about the cats. A blog can never have too much information or pictures of cats. I'm just sayin'....

cheesehead said...

If I could meet you Aunt Bostick, I would tell her the story of how my dog got his name.

I'm just sayin'...

Mrs. M said...

Love the cat blogging, myself.

Of course, I also love these rules of life...