Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Standing in the G at the C of P

Dear World,
Where I come from, a third world country within the U.S., we have air conditioning. We have a/c everywhere. Otherwise, we couldn't survive days and nights of 99 degree temperatures. Our attitudes would not survive.

You may recall that I'm out of town right now. Here I am in ecclesiastical Heaven where there is no a/c in my room. I'm sure it's a fluke of mechanics but I cannot sleep in a hot room. Hogwarts is well nigh perfect. Beautiful buildings, landscaping done so well it makes my teeth hurt and a serene environment where prayer pours out like a waterfall.
Excuse me, I so hot I am having a crabby fit.

I've heard that your Northern persons don't have air conditioning but I haven't believed it. How do people sleep in this heat without cool air blowing on them. As one of the young conferees said to me a few minutes ago, "You have a fan. I read it on your blog." Well, yes, I have a fan but it blows tepid phlegm temp air on me and I cannot sleep.

How many ways can I say I am too hot to sleep? I can't sleep without some cool air. I am too hot to sleep. I can't sleep in this heat.

I could sleep in the bathtub of the communal bathroom but dignity would prevent my hall mates from using the potty if I slept in the tub. I could sleep on the refectory table where the air is cooler but then I'd be known as the woman who slept in the refectory. I could stay up all night to write poetry about my situation but I am tired. I want to sleep.

If anyone asks you how I am, tell them I'm hot and I can't get to sleep.


St. Casserole


1-4 Grace said...

Honestly, you should knwo what to do! Okay, no problem.
Just say, " Accio Air Conditioner!"
And then be sure to duck.
Of course, if it were, me, I would say, "Accio Antonio."
It would be nice to have him by my bedside fanning me with one of thsoe big palm branches, like Pharoh.
But, Accio, AC and then Accio a fruity umbrela drink!
Blimey! The word verf. are crazy

Lorna said...

" Where I come from, a third world country within the U.S., we have air conditioning. " ... shows it's less third world than you thought :)

Here in Europe there isn't a/c - not really. Maybe in the poshest of hotel s in the riviera ... I wouldn't know. And our cars are only just getting a/c which is a huge blessing until hubby makes the car like a freezer and I have to put on socks and a sweater! It's summer - for crying out loud - we're supposed to be hot, uncomfortable and a little crabby!


Presbyterian Gal said...

Poor St. Cassie, so hot and mis'able......

I'd give you visualization and breathing tips, but you'd smack me in the head!! And I wouldn't blame you.

The hotel must have an ice machine? Fill the rubbish bin with ice and put it in front of the fan. Then sleep nekkid in front of it.

Kathryn said...

Hugs are a really bad idea when you're too hot, so i'm not about to offer one...but I'm sorry it's spoiling things and hope you got to sleep eventually. No air con here at all, but then it's unknown to need it. In India they have huge ceiling fans...but that seemed to no tips, only sympathy.

will smama said...

"it blows tepid phlegm temp air on me " hee, hee, hee...

Sounds to me like it's time to say goodbye to that durn spiritual mountaintop and drive a couple of hours up the road. I have air conditioning.

Of course, not in the Sanctuary where last weekend I was led to preach on Shadrach, Meshach and Abendago.

Teri said...

for the record, I didn't mean "you have a fan so you shouldn't be hot" I meant more "you have a fan???????????????? How can I also get a fan????? So I can die a little bit slower, and maybe, maybe, make it to morning?"

I stayed up until 2 partially because I was so hot and partially because I'm rooming with a dear friend and we kept talking until it cooled down enough that we could strip to underwear and sleep.

thank God for a clergyWOMEN conference....

St. C, I love you. And I hope you slept in the bathtub. Now, I just have to say this: you have a bathtub????? My jealousy expands. We have very small shower stalls clearly not designed for anyone who a) moves in the shower or b) shaves their legs. :-(

good thing I'm loving this place and the people!

See you downstairs in a few minutes...

Quotidian Grace said...

No A/C!! The HORROR!!

You are indeed a SAINT. I don't think I would knowingly sign up for a conference that made me stay in a room with no A/C in the midst of August near Washington. The DC area is as hot and muggy as Houston or the Mississippi coast this time of year!

PS--my word verification is "supgmnt": Supergovernment????

Mary Beth said...

Egads, really.

I recommend lots of sugar free popsicles. If that's not practical, then cool wet cloths...on the neck, on the brow, on the fan (make your own AC) (sort of).

I lived without AC in Central Texas for 6 years during grad school. I'm sure it made me a better person but I'd really rather not be so good.

And you...are NOT in grad school!

zorra said...

Mercy! I'm getting that suffocating/why-are-these-sheets-so-heavy feeling just reading this.I hope you got some sleep last night. At the risk of impropriety, I will offer a tip that has helped me in such circumstances: sponge off with a wet washcloth, then stretch out naked on top of the sheets. Yes, you can. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

St. Casserole said...

Nevermind. I fell asleep designing a brownstone in Georgetown, placing each piece of furniture in gorgeous rooms.

as I left the computer room, I saw a note on the elevator stating that we were threatened with a brown-out. Lights must be turned off and the elevator should not be used. I feel chastened because I know how it is to adapt to odd weather.

This place is perfect. I had a cold shower then a lovely breakfast with coffee good enough to have been Mr. C's own. I blew off worship, daydreamed through the first session today and left early thinking I smelled a Diet Coke over ice with my name on it. I'm going to check the news then mosey over to the Cathedral to look at some of the loveliest spaces this country has to offer.

Sorry for the whining...

St. Inuksuk said...

I'm getting warm just reading about how hot it is there. It is hot & humid here too. Thankfully, we have central a/c at home and at the church!!!!
In the North we have a/c just not at the place you are. You're right about fans, they just blow hot air around, but sometimes that's better than nothing.
Hope you find cool spots throughout your day and night. I don't see much change in the weather for the next day or two in DC.
Fanning cool air your way!

cpclergymama said...

visualization is a great way to relax. Hope the brownstone was retrofited with all the needed items. like a tub large enough to live in and fans operated by electricity and handsom individuals named Antonio!
Envious of your opportunity to get away for a while, but wishing you great blessings and some rest!

Purechristianithink said...

Okay, when I lived in NYC in an upper floor dorm room w/no AC here is what I did: Wait till I was sleepy, jump in the shower, NOT DRY OFF and lie on top of the sheets with the fan blowing right on me. The trick is to fall asleep before the fan dries you off.

1-4 Grace said...

Pure Christian-
I am so related to my Grandmother.
I owudl be worried about the place catchign on fire nad haivng to leave in that state...
Same with Terri- "if there is a fire or an earthquake or something," as grandmother would say,"they might find you like that and then what would people think?"
We had many conversations aobut what people would think...Actually, being dead or injured something i guess it would not matter. She was a riot!

reverendmother said...

I have to say that in spite of her sad night's sleep, St. Casserole did a wonderful job of leading our small preaching group today. I thought the feedback was helpful and direct yet kind, with that characteristic St. C sass. And she looked crisp and adorable to boot. Nothing like Dolores Umbridge. Kudos.

Sue said...

St. C., you rock. I hope tonight is a bit cooler so you can sleep.

mibi52 said...

You've had the misfortune to be here in DC in the hottest days of the summer. I guess they call it a Young Clergywoman's Conference because they think that those of us of a certain age would be having hot flashes and be unable to stand the heat...of course, if you're at the C of P in the dead of winter, you freeze. Choose your poison...

'Tis a pretty place, though. Have a wonderful time!