Friday, November 18, 2005

Pork Loin, Yeehaw

Mr. C, the Man and may I say, my favorite human, is currently working on a pork loin grilling and is unable to blog. So, as his best friend, I will humbly submit this little missive.

My rules of life:

If it hurts, lick it.
If it hurts bad, lick it alot.
If it seems needful, tasty, curiously unusual, or just familiar, lick it.

If it itches, stratch.
If it doesn't itch, it will eventually.

Eat it before it eats you.

God loves the dog and not just because of that backward spelling thing.

Cats are God's way of testing you, like a plague of locusts, being swallowed by a big fish, or endless tramping in the desert.

Barking is prayer ( I pray you feed me; I pray you let me in...)

When something is broken or chewed on, look at the cat. If they still look at you, give them the big ole sad and wet eye thing.

When the Man or his litter come into the house, make a big deal about it like you have never seen anyone come through the door that good. " Wow. Amazing. Cool. "They like this.

No matter what they say, always sleep on the couch.

Every once in a while, chew a shoe up. Man will respect the fact that you are keeping your teeth sharp just in case a burglar comes around. Careful, Woman won't understand the higher purpose of this act of love.

The little'r the cat, the sharper the claw.

Chase the cat. Well, not really a rule, more a pastime.

Nap time on the couch,

Dawg

5 comments:

Songbird said...

Young Dawg, you are one smart grasshopper. In your future I see a friendly visitor with a pocket full of treats.

peripateticpolarbear said...

Dawg, you are wise in learning the claw rule.

mibi52 said...

Such a gooooooooood dog!

No, no, don't get up on my lap!

Preacher Mom said...

Perhaps you would like to re-emphasize the part about the smaller the cat, the sharper the claw. Preacher Mom's dawg seems to have a hard time remembering that one!

Mary Beth said...

The Theology of Dawg!

I love it: barking as prayer. I must tell the Man in my house this so he will stop squirting our Dawgette with the water bottle when she barks insanely for no reason.

Clearly there is much supplication happening there.