Ernest and Earnest Accoutrements have handed the envelope to the 2005 Cone of Humor Awards to me. My fingers tremble as I open the Crane's Heavy weight 100% Rag Cotton stationery which will reveal the name of this year's winner.
I put the envelope down to answer my cell phone. Rachel is calling to ask me to do something for her. I rush off to help her. After several hours, I return and spot the unread Award Notification. I pick it up to see who E & E evaluated as the 2005 Cone of Humor Award winner.
I hear a noise at the kitchen door. I open it to see C and P who've come to get some of our furniture for their temporary apartment. We bustle through the house to collect chairs, small tables, lamps and Kliban cat bed sheets. P talks about how much she misses having her cats with her. The cats are living in a shed at a friend's house because C and P had no where for the cats to live after Katrina destroyed their home. We chat. We carry stuff to their car. P and I watch the men load the car with the stuff in the dumbest manner possible. We know how to load a car efficiently and safely. Better than the guys.
I return to the house and load/re-load the dishwasher, wash three loads of clothes, put away two loads of folded laundry from yesterday, ponder the lectionary passage for Joshua and it's possible relationship to the Matthew lectionary passage for tomorrow, clean out the litter box, talk to LH, read a few pages of the The Subtle Knife (second vol. of HIS DARK MATERIALS trilogy), play with the kittens, chat with several pals, stare out the window thinking about Matthew for tomorrow and then, it hits me! I rush for the envelope.
Without further delay, the winner of the 2005 Cone of Humor Award goes to ReverendMother for her story of the Pastor's Mama and the Usher. Congrats to you, dear RM, and to all of you who participated in this year's 2005 Cone of Humor Award. Billy Crystal will host next year, according to my latest issue of the Christian Century.
Thank you, very much.
St. Casserole
10 comments:
The camera is on me and I am appropriately clapping and smiling and nodding my approval. Now, cameras off, I chug down the rest of my wine... and the rest of my table's wine as well.
Congratulations to reverend mother. I cannot belive I have to wait a year for another chance!
Wow, what a contest, I'm just glad I got to attend the award show! Great jokes to everyone, I enjoyed
Great choice! Congrats to RM and a virtual bouquet of yellow roses...
The funny thing is that I am an absolutely *horrible* joke teller in real life.
I mean it. Me, jokes, real life--Not Funny.
It was an honor to be considered in such wonderful company with the other nominees. Thanks to the Academy. Thanks to the good Lord. Free Tibet.
trumpet sounds
and the cats miaow
what a night :)
and time for another glass of something good :)
thanks for the contest. It's good to spread cheer and laughter :)and yeah bouquets of flowers
Well deserved!
Hey, reverendmother, I am the same way. I cannot tell a joke because I start laughing myself way before I get to the punch line.
I can be funny in writing sometimes but in person -- never.
I've met her in real life and never even got an autograph! Now if CC would just send me my latest issue (they are always late when I'm looking forward to something!) I will be happy!
I think jo(e) should get a pine cone too for the story on her site about clothes shopping.
Now we will all be waiting to see if your next joke is Oscar worthy. Congrats!
Dear RM,
Please contact me with the address you wish to use to receive the 2005 Cone Humor Award.
My personal assistant, Whistle, and his personal assistant, Fish, will wrap the award carefully for mailing.
Again, congrats for your winning entry.
St. Casserole
Post a Comment