Here's your chance to tell a funny joke, make a happy comment or tell about an experience that made you laugh. Place your entry in the comments section.
The winner will receive a pinecone from the St. Casserole Family Pine Grove.
These rare pinecones survived the worst natural disaster in US History (according to dramatic exaggerators of TV and print).
The impartial judges, selected by Ernest and Ernest Famous Accoutrements will announce the winner (s) on Saturday.
Ready! Set! Go!
14 comments:
I got this one from a parishioner just this morning (with the caveat that it had no applicability to us preachers here at Suburban Presbyterian Church):
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row please," she answered.
"You really don't want to do that," the usher said.
"The pastor is really boring."
"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.
"No." he said.
"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.
"Do you know who I am?" he asked.
"No." she said.
"Good," he answered.
I was just reminded of this because we now have a new Executive Presbyter (the next level up from the church is the Presbytery made up in our case of about 60 churches).
A few months into my solo pastorate here and we hit the Advent season running. On the third Sunday of Advent I was stunned to see our very proper, very highly esteemed Executive Presbyter in the congregation with his prim, proper, decently and in order wife. That morning I was preaching from the lectionary text about Joseph. What was the sermon title printed in bold and italicized on both the front and inside of the bulletin?
"Whose Your Daddy?"
I left a nice one over at atrophy's site to cheer her up
hang on - I'll go find it :)
A sign was hanging in an office window. It read:
Help wanted.
Must type 70 words a minute.
Must be computer literate.
Must be bilingual.
An equal opportunity employer.
A dog was ambling down the street and saw the sign. He looked at it for a moment, pulled it down with his mouth, and walked into the manager's office, making it clear he wished to apply for the job.
The office manager laughed and said, "I can't hire a dog for this job."
The dog pointed to the line: "An equal opportunity employer."
So the manager said, "OK, take this letter and type it." The dog went off to the word processor and returned a minute later with the finished letter, perfectly formatted.
The manager said, "Alright, here's a problem. Write a computer program for it and run it."
Fifteen minutes later, the dog came back with the correct answer.
The manager still wasn't convinced. "I still can't hire you for this position. You've got to be bilingual."
The dog looked up at the manager and said, "Meow."
I got nothin' but these are good. PPB
PS: any mail yet?
WEll, I bet you have more than one pine cone - you can send those "cockleburrs (what some of our kids around here call them)" out to different churches and we can raise money with a "pine cone that survived Katrina"
Just a thought.
ATLANTA—A recently discovered strain of custard could cause a worldwide flandemic, Centers For Dessert Control warned Monday.
(from the Onion)
Shoot, this contest is more fun than (pick one):
"disinfecting your refrigerator"
"bleaching your grout"
"unpeeling your photo album"
"reading MRE instructions"
"slapping insects"
"counting people ahead of you in the FEMA intake line"
"driving 603 at night"
I am not on the Awards Committee, but I would give the Cone of Humor to reverendmother.
Expeditus
What's grey and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.
In my high school biology class, one of our token male teachers (at an all-girls school) asked: What is the best form of birth control?
One of the generally troublesome students, but at this point actually being serious (yet slightly vocabularily-challenged), replied: Absence.
Here's one called "Woman's Revenge"
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled in her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television in her purse.
"Do you always carry your television remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
I love the last one (remote) but I vote for "Who's your Daddy"
I really like the Mike Brown memo.
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